Losing Yourself

Having a Chronic Illness or Invisible Illness is a lot harder for people to understand. When you see me you don't see my pain or my struggle. You see my smile not the tears that I am holding back. People say "you don't look sick" or "you are too young to be like this". It makes you feel alone. It makes you feel like a burden to those around you. It makes you feel guilty. Guilty for not being able to do the things you want. You have no control over your body and it is terrifying. The pain doesn't go away. You start off having more good days than bad, and then the good days become less often and you find yourself trying to remember what its like to have good days. What it feels like not to have pain when you walk. Not to be exhausted every moment. You find yourself slipping away from who you used to be. You become the pain. You lose yourself.