Pushing Through...

It has been a while since I have posted...

The last few months have been a struggle. I am still recovering from my third shoulder surgery and am now currently having issues with my hand that has been operated on three times already and my jaw that keeps dislocating and jamming.

I try and push through all of the obstacles that get thrown my way, because that's what living with a chronic illness is. You take it day by day and stay as positive as possible.

Staying positive and not letting my EDS control my life is the one thing I have always focused on. But I am human. I have bad days. I have bad weeks. I get frustrated. I get overwhelmed. I get depressed. I try so hard to live a normal life and some days I am too exhausted to pretend and I shut down.

The last few months I have felt like a shell of a person. My energy is gone. My pain is everywhere. I feel like everything in my body is falling apart. I find myself getting more and more frustrated and angry because I know this pain will never go away.

I have days where I try to remember the last time I could walk without pain, sleep without pain, breathe without pain. I think of all of things I want to do with my life that I wont ever have the option of doing. I feel like the old me is quickly becoming a stranger.


I think a lot of people who have chronic pain try to hind their struggle and their pain. It's easier than expressing to people how terrifying and lonely it is to live in a constant pain that no one understands. 

I want people to know that it is okay to be human. It is okay to have days where you are so angry with the life that you were dealt. Its okay to break down and be sad, as long as you wake up the next day ready to fight.