Adjusting.

Dealing with EDS has been a constant fight between my mind and my body. My mind wants to do everything a healthy person can do and more. Iv'e always been a crazy workaholic. Working 2-3 jobs at a time since I was 16. Now that I am 21 I am working 3 jobs and with the holiday season I have been working mandatory over time. Working 60+ hours hasn't ever been fun, but I've always been able to suck it up and listen to my mind over my body. After my hip surgery I slowed down a little, but it wasn't until my most recent hand surgery that I realized I need to start listening less to my mind and a little more to my body. I focus so much on trying to be "normal". Not letting my illness control me. Not letting my life be effected by my illness but in reality, of course it is going to change the way I live my life. The only thing I am going to do by listening to my mind instead of my body is cause myself more pain. I push myself to the point of exhaustion and so much pain that the thought of moving brings tears to my eyes. I've had mornings where I know that I have to get up and go to work, but it is so physically painful and my body is so exhausted that I end up staying in bed the entire day instead of working. Iv'e been so stuck on fighting. Fighting the pain. Fighting the exhaustion. Fighting to be normal. Now its time to give in a little. Not worry so much about what people will think of me if I give myself a break. Sometimes you get tired of fighting. Sometimes you have to give up your pride to do whats best for yourself. I am not a "normal" healthy person, but that does not make me weak. It does not mean that I am not strong. It does not mean that I am lazy. It just means that I have to adjust my life and live it the best way that I possibly can.